Anti-Stalinism for Dummies!
by J. Slavyanski
In the past, I wrote an article on how to be an anti-Communist. Today we are going to focus on the proper techniques of handling Josef Stalin. See, just as Tupac Shakur has somehow released albums long after his death, so has Josef Stalin committed crimes. In fact, it’s very likely that somewhere, somehow, Stalin is having people put to death, possibly in your very neighborhood. Any unsolved murders in your city lately? It could be him!
1. This is the most important technique: Everything Stalin ever did, or didn’t do, was negative if not evil. Stalin never did anything right, and anything he did that could be seen as positive actually had some hidden evil motive. All your work should begin from this starting concept.
2. Everything that happened in the Soviet Union during the time of Stalin’s leadership was the direct will of Stalin. If someone was shot- Stalin did it. He may have done it personally, possibly bursting through the window of a room full of innocent people, wielding matching gold-plated Tokarev TT-33s, diving sideways in slow-motion as he squeezed off round after round into the surprised occupants. If someone died in a mine accident in the Urals, that was also Stalin’s fault. If someone was run down by a bus in Stalingrad, you had better believe that was a planned murder, the death warrant having been signed by Stalin.
3. Stalin’s orders regarding Red Army POWs was cruel. His application of those same rules to his own son was also cruel. Of course had he not applied those rules, he would have been an evil hypocrite as well.
4. Stalin was evil because he directed the famine against Ukrainians. Of course there is a great deal of documentary evidence showing that he was not even aware of the extent of the famine until conditions were severe- but that was his fault too. He had to have been feigning ignorance about the genocide he ordered!
5. Stalin’s “Dizzy with Success” was actually written to cover the fact that everything in the countryside was actually going precisely as he planned it! Remember, whenever Stalin openly criticized something, it was because he actually devised and ordered that to occur.
6. Stalin’s cynical quotes on some subjects prove how cruel he was. George Orwell’s cynical comments show how well he grasped “ugly truths”.
7. Stalin was only supporting the Spanish Republic in order to foment a Communist revolution in that nation. However, Stalin is also evil for curtailing the “real” revolution there in favor of the Republican government. The weapons Stalin provided were actually “obsolete”; pay no attention to the fact that the small arms were often standard issue in the Red Army at the time, the I-16 fighters dominated the Nationalists’ CR-32 Fiats and Heinkels, the SB-2 was an exceptional bomber at that time, and the T-26 dominated Nationalist armor until the last year or so of the war. Stalin was also evil because he charged the Spanish Republic for these things. Pay no attention to the fact that the Spanish Republic was desperately trying to buy weapons but was prevented from doing so by the Non-Intervention agreement.
8. Stalin helped start WWII. Never mind the fact that France and Britain had totally emboldened Hitler and Mussolini for years while the USSR was practically begging for some kind of anti-Fascist pact. Never mind the fact that the USSR only considered such a non-aggression pact until there were no viable options left.
9. All regimes after Stalin were in fact Stalinist. No matter the insane lengths they went to remove Stalin from their history, to denigrate him and his regime, even if they opposed him during his life time, they were Stalinist. Whenever a capitalist or layperson asks why such and such socialist country failed, one need only blame Stalin, and the argument will be over!
10. Stalin was in favor of a bureaucracy. Never mind all the articles he wrote encouraging people to struggle against it; remember everything Stalin criticizes, he was actually for! Stalin’s will was omnipotent, despite the fact that there are plenty of contemporary source documents showing Stalin’s proposals being ignored and opposed in the Central Committee throughout his entire term.
Follow these steps and you’ll be on your way!
